Roses and other things

Yesterday I turned in my last piece of documentation required for nursing school. Now I just have a few things to purchase (like white tennis shoes, a stethoscope, scrubs, lab coat, etc...how fun!!) and a class to register for in the middle of August. Besides that, I'm ready to go and will find out everything else I need to know at orientation in September! It's all coming together and I am now starting to get excited and nervous. I wish I knew what to expect once classes start...all I know is that it will be "hard." Well...I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

On a different note, I am still on the recovery road from mono and am doing so much better! My throat is still swollen and I have a slight fever (99.3ish) at night, but besides that I am well on my way to kicking this thing!! My energy continues to rise each day and my appetite is returning gradually. My hope is to be back at work and in the full swing of things by the 7th of August so I can go to my friend Stephanie's wedding! My plan is to also have my wisdom teeth out before then, but that might not happen. I'll keep you posted!

A few days ago when I was feeling especially low, Paul surprised me with a visit and brought me beautiful roses and a redbox movie.  I felt so special! Here are the roses:

Aren't they gorgeous?? I was completely thrilled. 

I must say...flowers make being sick so much more enjoyable!

i got baptized!

On the 4th of July, I got baptized at my church in Estacada. I love it that the 4th will now always have more significance to me! (sorry for the bad pic quality though)

sharing my testimony

My testimony

I was born into a Christian family and grew up going to church. When I was four years old, I remember learning about Jesus in Sunday School. One night I asked my older sister if she would pray with me to become a Christian so I could go to heaven and be with Jesus, and she said yes and so she helped me pray my first prayer as a Christian. After that, I continued to go to church, participate in Awana, VBS, and other Christian camps and such. When I was 10, my family was going through some difficult changes and I decided to rededicate my life to Christ. I felt that I had matured in my faith, now understanding more of the basics of the faith and wanted to again make the commitment to live my life for Christ even though life seemed more complicated. This time, I prayed in my room by myself. At the time, I thought that I had learned everything I needed to know to be an effective Christ follower, but over the years I discovered that I really only knew the basics about who Jesus was. 

I knew that he was the Son of God, that as a believer in him as my Savior and Lord I had a personal relationship with him and would be granted the promise of eternal life. However, that really is all I knew for sure. I had a vague understanding of the trinity: who Father God and the Holy Spirit were and how they fit into the redemption story and what their roles were, but not fully. I also didn’t know a lot about many other aspects of the Christian faith but always had a nagging feeling like I was missing something. Over the next few years I continued to grow in knowledge and my faith as I went to church, joined a small group of girls my age at my church, and studied and read the Bible on my own when I “had time” (which wasn’t often enough). Jesus was my Savior, but I was still very much afraid to proclaim him to others because I felt like my understanding was limited, although I didn’t know why at the time. Every few months, the Lord would open my eyes to a new concept or another aspect of his character and I began to feel more secure in my identity as a believer, but I still had many questions. 

And then I started college and soon after met the Carters and my eyes were again opened to more and I was able to understand more of why I believe what I believe. I began to better understand what my life is supposed to look like as a daughter of Christ in this modern world we live in where feminism is the popular and common way of looking at life. I saw the importance of memorizing verses, of meditating on the Word, of really studying it for myself and with others, and of finding a fellowship of believers who believed what I did. That was when I decided to step out of my box and come visit ECC. At first, I was a little uncomfortable, just because it was not like any church I had been a part of before, but I saw the dedication of all of you and how happy and genuine you seemed, and I was intrigued. 

Needless to say, this is where God wants me right now. I am by no means an expert in the Scriptures, nor have all of my questions been answered, but I have found my church home for the present, and am thrilled to today have you as witnesses as I am baptized. As a believer, I know that I have been baptized by the Holy Spirit, but I would like to be baptized by water in the presence of the church as I am now a member and because baptism is commanded in the Bible as an important step once you are a believer, as well as to symbolically show my place as a Christian into Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection, which I fully believe. I believe in my wretchedness as a human because of sin, that I am in need of a Savior, and that now as a Christ follower, it is my privilege and duty to spread the gospel to those around me, live a lifestyle of purity and holiness, use my spiritual gifts for the church, and continue to study the Bible, which is inspired by God and is the truth. 

If I had to say in one sentence what my life is now, I would say: God has chosen me and I am living in response to his call upon my life. I am excited for what the rest of my life will hold. I continue to struggle with not knowing what will take place or how I will be used, but I am continually encouraged by the Psalms, other books and studies, as well as the Book of Revelation because I know that no matter how desperate I feel things are getting, there are promises to cling to and a God who is awesome, with total control. As long as I stay in frequent prayer and studying, I find that I am less stressed and more content to simply live in the life that God has given me. Today, THIS is my next step. So here I am. I am ready to be baptized. Praise God for choosing me among the many to be one of his followers. I feel truly overwhelmed and blessed when I think on that. Praise God for his faithfulness, for his promises, for his mercy and grace. That is what the gospel is about, and that is what I cling to. So here we go. I am ready for the next chapter of my life. 

right before...

right after :)

Paul, Russell, and I at the potluck afterwards

Pslams

Today I just wanted to share some of my favorite Bible verses from Psalms. My hope is to one day put several in little frames and have them around my house as constant reminders of God's love, grace, and care for us, his children. Some of these are pleas and some are praises, but they are all about our great God, whom we are to live for.

"Deal bountifully with Your servant, that I may live and keep Your word. Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Your law." Psalm 119:17-18

"My soul languishes for Your salvation; I wait for Your word." Psalm 119:81

"Those who trust in the LORD are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but aides forever." Psalm 125:1

"I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope." Psalm 130:5
(this is probably my favorite right now)

"On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul." Psalm 138:3

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The LORD will accomplish what concerns me. Psalm 138:7-8a

Daily Strength

Over the last few weeks, I have decided to really dedicate myself to reading my Bible daily. The last year or so this has not been at the top of my priorities list, but it really should be, as a Christ follower. The Bible is the inspired Word of God and it is where we are taught, encouraged, and strengthened. Since I have been reading regularly, I am amazed at how much peace I have about my life and all of the decisions and choices that have to be made. I remember the the Lord provides, and that no matter how bad it may seem things are, there is an ultimate reason for them. I love the fact that all of the Bible points directly to Jesus, which is wonderful because he is our Savior and the one who connects us to God the Father. Sometimes I sit down with a block of time in the morning. Other times I read throughout the day during my breaks at work. Or sometimes if I haven't made time during the day (which I should!), I'll read and study at night before I go to bed. The most important thing if you are considering really studying the Bible for yourself is to make time for it in your schedule. Don't just wait and see if you can "fit it it," because most of the time it won't happen. And I find that when I make time, even if it means less sleep or more things to do, everything else diminishes in importance and everything ends up working out better than I thought it would have.

As much as I can every day I have been reading:

- one of the "Hebrew letters" of Psalm 119 (it is the longest Psalm and it is divided into sections, each
  one titled with one of the Hebrew letters of their alphabet)
- another Psalm
- the chapters in Proverbs, Acts, and Revelation that corresponds to the date of the month (for example,
  today is July 19, so I read Proverbs 19, Acts 19, and Revelation 19 this morning)
- 1 or 2 chapters in Genesis

I do not say this to gloat or bring attention to myself, but to encourage anyone who doesn't feel like they could ever really sit down and read the Bible and study it. It is possible! and it is incredibly rewarding. The method I am using right now where the chapter number is the same as the day's date helps me remember if I have read it or not. Once I have read through the books I am reading now, I may reread them to go deeper or simply continue on into other books. I just hope that once I am not doing the "number system" anymore that I will still make time for it! One of the reasons I chose to pick so many different chapters to read a day is because I love variety and it keeps things interesting and gives me a goal. If I were to only read one chapter a day, for whatever reason, it wouldn't seem as important to me and I wouldn't make time for it.

And for anyone who is interested, I use the MacArthur study Bible, and I think it is fantastic! I love all the comments on each verse. It helps me understand what I am reading so much better and includes references to verses that correlate to the passages I am reading. If you don't have one, I would encourage you to get one! They aren't that expensive and they are totally worth it. I also use the NASB version, which is the closest translation to the original languages the Bible was written in, but I believe ESV is also really good.

Praise God!

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes. 

The law of Your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieced" 

Pslam 119:71-72

I keep a prayer journal in which I pray every day before I open the Word of God. Today I found out I have mono and I wanted to share my prayer with you.

     Lord, You are in control! I am amazed at how often it seems I need reminders of Your being in control and now is no exception. Father, You have willed that I have mono and am unable to work for at least another week and a half. If I wasn't aware of Your plan for my life, I would be bitter and resentful. But praise Your Name that I feel content, even joyful that I have a span of time ahead of me where I can work to refocus my life on You and prepare my heart for this next year, which I know will be an adventure.

     God I pray Your protection on my body, that I wouldn't develop any complications or additional illnesses. Lord, heal my body in the time you desire. Until then, work on me while I have no distractions around me. Capture my heart again and reveal Yourself to me in new ways. I love you, Lord. My heart is overflowing with joy and I am amazed. Help me bless others even through this. You are my King! Thank you for choosing me. Your mercy is new every morning. Praise God!

male and female He created them...

This is a random post, but I just find it so fascinating how women and men interpret things differently! I went to a Love and Respect Seminar (I recommend it!) a few months ago with Paul at our youth group's church, and one of the most interesting themes the entire day was this concept of us hearing or experiencing something and men taking it totally different than a woman would. I was reminded of this just a few minutes ago and I just thought I would share because I found it funny.

I was talking to Paul online right after he had been playing a computer game with his little brother. I asked him, "how's the game?"and his reply was "bad." So I asked him what he meant, and he said "my team got crushed." This is when I remembered how we think differently, because what I meant was "did you have fun?"...who knows why I didn't just say that, but obviously I should have. But then again, I suppose losing isn't fun for a man (so maybe he really did answer my question, just not in the way I expected), whereas as long as I am with people, I have a good time (even if I lose). Whatever. We are different and that is something to be celebrated!

"male and female He created them" Genesis 1:27b

The past few days

I find that when I make time to write and I sit down ready to go, I decide to first read other people's blogs, which I love to do (I read about 16 regularly!)...but then I run out of time for my own writing. I just love hearing others' stories and sometimes I feel like what they have to share is more amusing or more important than anything I would say. But the life I have right now is the life I am called to lead -- I am learning to accept that.

So, my life has been a little interesting lately. This last weekend and week has had some surprises in it. I'm not sure what is going to happen next, but I am at a place where I will take whatever comes.

There have been several little things that have been stressing me out that really shouldn't, but among them is that fact that I need to turn in this packet of papers by August 2nd to ensure my place in the nursing program come fall. I am in the middle of working on them (I still have to take a CPR class and have documentation that I am certified...way last minute. oops!!), but it seems like so many other things are popping up, needing to be taken care of. On top of trying to keep up with things and work on projects which I have begun for the summer, over the weekend I got sick with some sort of virus. I was supposed to have my wisdom teeth out this morning, but when I went in, my oral surgeon said it wouldn't be a good idea until I am well. So ok...fine. Honestly, I was disappointed, but the wisdom of others has been increasingly important to me lately, so I decided to take his advice. I came home and took a nap and then ate a little bit (I was still feeling sort of crummy) and then went to the doctor. They decided to do a strep test (which came back negative) and they drew some blood to see if I have mono. I'll find out tomorrow or the day after if that is the case. But no matter what, the doctor's orders are to rest and drink lots of fluids, so it looks like its a good thing I got 3 days off of work...even though I won't be using them to recover from surgery, I guess I need them to recover from whatever I have. The good thing is that the GAP, where I work, is pretty flexible with requests, so I should be able to get time off again with no problem once I am doing better and can go ahead with getting my wisdom teeth out.

In addition, Paul's close friend's dad is in the hospital. At the moment he is stable, but they are still watching him closely and are not sure how things will turn out (prayer would be much appreciated).

On a different note, yesterday I went to my good friend Stephanie's bridal shower! We've known each other since high school and her wedding is in 19 days. She was all aglow and everyone had a wonderful time. It was very casual and took place in her future in-laws' backyard. The shower was in the evening so they had a salad bar for dinner and a chocolate fountain with wonderful things to dip into it. It was delicious! Everyone mingled for a while and then we played some low key games. My favorite was one where Stephanie was told that Andrew, her fiance, had been asked 25 questions about her. He of course, wasn't at the shower, but now she was going to be asked the same questions so she could answer for herself. The game was to guess how many we thought Andrew would get right out of the 25. So Steph was asked a question, she answered, and then Andrew's answer was shared. They were really fun to listen to! I guessed that he would get 19, but he only got 12 totally right! haha! But for a lot of the answers, Steph couldn't decide between two things, so the one she didn't say was the one he said. After that, she opened gobs of wonderful presents. This took about an hour or a little more, but I loved watching each item get unwrapped. Then the last thing they did was form a prayer circle around Steph and pray for her. I loved that! So fitting.

As for now, I am sitting on the couch, my kitty is sleeping at my feet, and I think I'm going to take a nap. I really don't like being limited, but if I get up, my stomach decides it needs to lurch to tell me its still there or something...silly. Oh well. Maybe I'll rent a redbox movie later or call a friend. We'll see.

The most important thing I am remembering is God is in control! What happens is in His will and nothing I do can change that. What happens down here on earth is no surprise to the God of the universe. That is my hope right now. I pray those of us who call Jesus our Savior never forget that!