pencils and smiles

 

Last year, apart from my job at the GAP in Woodburn (where I am still working), I worked as a tutor for middle school students at Waldo Middle School in Salem in a program that took place after their normal school hours. I wanted to be able to tutor again this year, but starting nursing school threw some of my wishes out the window...which is ok because I believe God is directing my life and it is also a good reminder that some things are only meant to be a part of my life for a time. BUT!! I prayed throughout summertime and felt led to still work for the tutoring company, but as a substitute (because I love kids!). This would allow me more flexibility to say yes or no and would give me a teensy bit more cash once in a while (yay!). Anyway, my point is that this week I was given my first opportunity to sub! It was quite a drive away, but I was asked to sub at an elementary school in the Portland area Tuesday and today. And even though I am exhausted from not only subbing but from other events going on in my life, I had a blast.

Each one of these 6 kids I supervised (3 boys and 3 girls) were adorable and incredibly unique. Some of them were shy and some were nonstop hyper, but they grew dear to my heart. I am always amazed at how quickly my heart seems to attach to kids when I spend quality time with them, and so knowing I probably wouldn't see them again was hard for me, but their little faces are permanently branded on my heart. Hopefully I will see some of them in heaven, Lord willing, but for now I must content myself with thinking of their little brains working so hard on their studies as their pencils furiously erase a hasty and false answer or as they laugh at the boy in our group who fell out of his chair when he couldn't sit still any longer from boredom.

One day I hope to have my own sweet yet crazy children. I can't wait to delight in them. But for now I am happy to delight in other people's children. And in this case, I think of their cute faces hard at work concentrating on their papers, their little hands grasping wooden pencils like their life depended on it, and their precious smiles warming my heart whenever I catch them goofing off.

how interesting!! (part 2)

A few weeks ago I wrote a post that had some interesting facts in it that I have learned since starting nursing school. Here is round 2:

1) humor stimulates the immune system
2) by the time children reach the age of 3, the brain is 90% of its adult size, and the emotional, behavioral, cognitive, and social foundations are in place for the rest of life
3) your lungs grow until 8 years of age
4) grapefruit juice inhibits metabolism of many drugs causing drug toxicity within 30 minutes of ingestion (in other words, don't drink your medications/vitamins with grapefruit juice! yikes!)
5) incontinence is not a normal part of aging (phew!)

As always, if you have a specific question about any topic I might come across as a nurse, let me know and I will try to find the answer for you. Have a blessed Sunday!

Snow

As I was looking out my window this morning watching it snow, I couldn't help but think how snow can be an illustration of God's will in each of our lives. This is in no way a perfect illustration, but I believe it is one that can be helpful to remember. As everyone in Salem and the surrounding area knows, it snowed last night. This came as a surprise to many people, including myself. I heard it might snow, but I didn't really believe it would. Some people were excited. Some were angry that it would interfere with their plans. But all anyone could do was go to sleep last night and then wake up today and see what happened and go from there. Isn't that sometimes what happens when God's will for our lives surprises, startles, or brings change?

First of all, whether or not we want snow on a given day, the fact of the matter is that it either will or will not snow depending on what God planned. We cannot influence if it snows or not. All we can do is respond to it. Some people prepare for snow. They buy snow tires, get their ice scraper out, or wake up early in case they'll need extra time in the morning to get to wherever they planned on going. And yet other people just continue with life as normal and only act if snow does in fact happen. But it does change how we respond to life whether we were prepared for it or not. Some people get angry when it snows if it interferes with plans or dreams, some embrace it right away, and some take a little time to get used to it. This is so similar to how we respond to God's will in our lives. We grumble and whine and think "why me?" or "why now?", or we embrace the change that has taken place and move forward recognizing that whether we see the change as good or bad, it was what God meant for us at the time.

Personally, I am going through some hard life changes that I never expected I would have to face. Many things led to where I am currently and I have felt somewhat unprepared to deal with it, but I must remember that just as it will stop snowing eventually (even if the snow leads to some changes in the road surface or pushes some of my plans back), my life will again reach some state of normalcy and will continue on.

Snow is a beautiful thing. It is a blessing from God. My hope is to view His will for my life in the same way.

Random Fact #2

Random Fact #2 about me!

Right now the digital clock in my car is 1 hour and 13 minutes fast...

Why?? you might ask. Well its basically Firestone complete auto care's fault (the extra 13 minutes...I'm not sure why they set it so fast when they gave me a new battery, but oh well) and Daylight Savings fault (the hour part). And the reason I haven't changed it yet is because 1) I'm lazy, 2) now that I know how fast it is, I have now become an expert at calculating what time it is in under 2 seconds when I look at it! and 3) I actually don't remember how to change the time.

So I'm basically a lazy idiot. :) It could very well be that my time is being spent doing other things (like school?)...but one of these days I really need to fix it because deep down it bugs me.

how interesting!!

I have decided that every so often I will share some of the most interesting medical facts that I have learned while in nursing school! I figured, "well if I find this interesting, someone else might too!" ...And so here we are. Some of the facts will be serious and something I feel people should be aware of, and then some of them will be funny or random. (Oh, and let me know if there is anything of particular interest to you and I can try and find out for you and can either post it here or send you a private email).

How Interesting!! (part 1)
1) emesis is the medical term for vomit, throw up, puke, or whatever you like to call it
2) pneumonia is the 7th leading cause of death in the US (despite medical advances!!)
3) your lungs are sterile
4) sugar depresses the immune system (so if you get sick or don't want to get sick...decrease your sugar
    intake)
5) most drugs that are tested are only tested on healthy caucasian males

Have a good night!

Random fact #1

If you know me really well you know that I can be incredibly random. In my opinion, being random makes life more fun and keeps you on your toes! Therefore, every so often I will be sharing a random fact about myself. Enjoy!

Random Fact #1: When I was in preschool, I cried in Sunday school when my aunt used me as a demonstrator of how to make a hand print with chocolate pudding [I am (ahem) was a neat freak and was terrified of being the center of attention]

Nevertheless

In a few days I will expand on this post, but for now let me just say that today I was shaken. I was shaken because I did not pass my second theory test in my nursing class. I got a 73% on my exam. And for a previously straight A student, I was totally shocked. So...like I said, I will expand on this later, but today I want to share a passage of scripture that I read this morning before my test and that I find even more precious to me now:

Psalm 73:23-26, 28 [NASB]
"Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, And afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works."

NURSING SCHOOL!!!

So as you will see upon reading this, it is around 1:00 am...and it's a school night! My first school night of the year 2010-2011 to be exact. And why am I still up? Because I've been doing homework. Yep. I have homework due on the first day of school. I suppose this is one of the first indications of what the year is going to be like, but I am excited for it all! I just finished so I'll be heading to bed after this (thank goodness!), but I just wanted to let you know that my new journey that I have been anticipating for almost my whole life is beginning and I will try to keep you in the loop as best I can. There will be many things I cannot tell you about (confidentiality and all that), but I will do my best to allow you to go on this journey with me. I also want to take the opportunity to say thank you to my family and friends for encouraging, strengthening, and challenging me to go for this dream. I would probably not be where I am today if it weren't for you! Just one more thing then I'm off to bed...I want to pray for this year and thank God for this opportunity:

"Heavenly Father, thank you so much for making me one of your children and for giving me a burden to love on other people. It is my prayer that as I am able to help others, I can shine Your light in the lives of those I come into contact with. If this is Your will, I pray for endurance, for patience, and for an ever increasing love for hurting people. Lord, I am nervous and excited; I have no idea how I will handle all the stress that has been guaranteed as a part of nursing school, but I pray that with Your help I can use my time wisely and still make time for family and friends. I pray that I would make time to spend with You every day and that I won't forget why I want to be a nurse: to lovingly care for people in Jesus' name. I pray that I would also have an opportunity to represent You to my peers. Make me bold for You. Give me courage to not give up. Help me to learn all I can so that I will be able to effectively care for the people You enable me to treat. I pray in Your name,

Amen."

Consider it all joy

I am currently doing a study on Philippians and am reading a book on it by David L. Hockling titled "How to Be Happy in Difficult Situation." The title doesn't draw me in, but listen to this passage and this portion of the introduction to his book:

Acts 16:6-10 [this gives the background for why Paul went to Philippi (the leading city of the district of Macedonia" according to Acts 16:12)]:

"And they passed through the Phrygian and Galatian region, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia; and when they had come to Mysia, they were trying to go into Bithynia, and the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them; and passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas. And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: A certain man of Macedonia was standing and appealing to them, and saying, "Come over to Macedonia and help us." And when he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them." 


"What a fascination account of God's direction in a person's life! All of us need the kind of responsive heart that is revealed in these verses. Often, the Lord will simply close the door on our plans and the places we had decided to go. Too many times we become bitter, discouraged, and defeated over "closed doors" when it is simply the loving hand of a God who wants the very best for us and has a specific plan to work in our lives. It is difficult to say how the Spirit of God was impressing Paul's heart in these verses. Perhaps it was through circumstances. Maybe the roads into Bithynia were closed due to bad weather! Who knows? The obvious fact is that they were led by the Spirit of God."


I know I often feel discouraged when my plans don't go through. This excerpt is such an encouragement to me; to think that a "no" from God is actually leading me some place better than I ever could have planned! I hope that I can learn to depend on the Holy Spirit for every decision, and that I will "consider it all joy when I encounter various trials; knowing that the testing of my faith produces endurance" James 1: 2-3 (revised).

No More Wisdom...

On Thursday I got my wisdom teeth out. Yay! Hurrah, it was finally done!! My appointment was made for July, but then it was discovered that I had mono...so I had to wait. I was then told to make my new appointment for 4 to 6 weeks later. And so we did - which brings us to Thursday. My mom took me to my Oral Surgeon (who was wonderful!) and when we arrived, I couldn't help but think that they might turn me away to wait again. But they didn't! They whisked me right in and I couldn't help but be slightly nervous and excited. Nervous because I had never done this before but excited because I am a nerd that way. :)

Side note: I had originally wanted to write this post on Thursday to prove that I was capable of doing something the day of, but I got to sleeping and forgot about it. Ha!

K, back to the story: Going into the procedure I wasn't sure how I would do or how I would respond because I had never had surgery before of any kind. It was going to be my first experience with general anesthesia... Here is my reasoning for wanting to be totally out: 1) I didn't want to get cold - because I am always cold and I knew that I would be in their air conditioned rooms - and 2) I didn't want to get bored. I was told the actual surgery would take about 20 minutes but that I would have to lie there for a total of about an hour, and I didn't want to get bored without being able to move around. I'm sure you didn't need that explanation, but just in case you were wondering, or in case you ever get the option to choose local or general anesthesia, you will now have one person's very weird point of view on the matter.

Anyways, I was taken to a room with a dentist chair in it, laid down, hooked up to various monitors, given an i.v...and then I was out. No laughing gas, no being asked to count to 10...I just fell asleep with people working over my head to get things ready. It was very peaceful. The next thing I remember was slowly waking up and being told everything went just fine and that I had to lie there for a little bit longer. I had been expecting to laugh hysterically or start crying or feel weird (I was expecting this from all of the stories I had heard), but I was perfectly alert and everything made sense to me. I was, however, shaking very badly. This, apparently, was my only reaction to the drugs. It stopped after a little while and they gave me a blanket to get warm. Then for the next 20 minutes I lied there and was asked various questions of which I tried to answer through my swollen/gauzed-filled mouth. And then I was given an ice pack to go around my head and wheeled out to the car.

I arrived home, took some meds and went straight to bed for a while. Although I didn't get around to writing this post then, I did get some homework done! Success!!

So I may have lost all my wisdom through this experience, but I am still able to do homework and sleep which is what my life will consist of for the next two years (besides a few other key events hopefully) so I guess I'll turn out ok.

:)

Uniforms, Background Checks, Mingling, and Books

Today was the first day that all of us who got accepted to Chemeketa's Nursing Program had to congregate at school to do various things before orientation tomorrow. The first thing upon arrival was getting sized for the scrubs that I will have to wear every lab day and at every clinical (when we go to hospitals and work with patients). I don't have a picture of them yet because we just ordered them today and will receive them later, but once I have them I'll take a picture for you to see. After our fitting, we purchased blood pressure cuffs and stethoscopes and then we all piled into a classroom to sign forms for our background check. Then we had some free time, so a friend of mine and I went to the Lancaster Mall to buy our lab coats at "Life Uniform." After that I picked up 4 of the books I had pre-ordered from the bookstore and then bought my parking permit for the year.

After that there was a gathering for all 1st year nursing students to meet one another, meet some of the instructors, and talk with 2nd year students. When we signed in, we were told there was a raffle going to happen at the end. The entry tickets were bandaids that we wrote our names on and the container they were put into was a bedpan (haha). After signing in, everyone went through the food line which included sandwiches, fruit, cookies, and then M&Ms and Jelly Beans in medicine cups like you drink cough syrup out of...apparently the nursing jokes have begun! I thought it was cute :) I didn't win any of the raffle prizes but the lady next to me won a gift certificate for the bookstore.

So then I drove home and waiting for me on the front table in the living room 3 of my nursing books I bought on Amazon. yay!! So as of now, I have 8 out of my 9 required texts...this is good because I already have homework that I have to do before the first day of actual class. So... if you are looking for me over the next two weeks, I will most likely have my head in a book. It's a good thing I like school! 

Like I said, tomorrow is orientation all day, so I'll be off to bed soon. 

Good night!

I love you, Lord

I don't know if many of you know or remember this song. I learned it years ago when I was itty bitty, but it popped into my head just now...every once in a while a song like that will just appear in my head and I am always encouraged by it. I feel as if God specially picks these songs for me for those moments and I feel closer to our awesome and eternal God. 


This is my prayer this morning:


I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice
To worship you, Oh my soul rejoice!
Take joy, my King, in what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear

I love you, Lord, and I lift my hands
To worship you as my soul demands
Take joy, my King, in what you see
May I be a sweet, sweet child on your knee


"Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord and delight in his salvation." Psalm 35:9

From My Perspective

This actually isn't going to be from my perspective...it will be from my former pastor John Stumbo. He has such an amazing story and if you want, check out his blog here.  Before I get to what I actually intended to write about, I have some background: I have been going through old papers and letters from the past few years because I recently bought a little 2-drawer filing cabinet ($2 at a garage sale!!) that is is perfect condition besides a few scratches. Up til now I have had a box in the garage that has held a few files, but they aren't very organized, and if you know me, you know that I love to be organized. So it was my joy to find this little black beauty, clean it up a bit, and get it ready for use! My goal is to get all of my papers filed away in alphabetical categories by the time school starts back up for me (that gives me about 3 weeks). So...while I have been going though things I came across an old church bulletin from my past church Salem Alliance. I scanned through it and then came to the back page which always has a column called "From My Perspective" written by one of the elders. This particular bulletin was from Easter 2005 and the column was written by John Stumbo, the senior pastor at that time. I just wanted to share what he wrote because it was a good reminder for me.

     "I once missed getting to go to a Minnesota Twins game because I was playing catch at my friend's house. This was a HUGE disappointment. As a small town boy, going to the big city to watch a professional baseball game was a once-a-year-at-best event. Not knowing that my brother-in-law was coming by to pick me up for the game, I had wandered off to a friend's house without letting anyone know where I was. I missed the game of the year while playing a routine game of catch.
     It was about the same year - third grade, I believe - that I missed out on going to another friend's house for an "overnighter." Kent had invited me to ride home with him on the bus after school. My mom gave permission. The day came. School let out and as we walked to the bus, I froze. "Uh, Kent, uh, I think I'll just go home." I wanted to go to Kent's house very much, but I had never ridden a bus. Fear won. I walked. Kent never invited me again.
     Over three decades have past. I've now been to many baseball games in many stadiums, stayed with friends across the country and have ridden my share of buses - actually, for thousands of miles. But I still miss a few things from time to time because of preoccupation or fear.
     This Easter season, I've been struck that many people are missing out on the most significant event of human history - the resurrection of Jesus Christ - for the same reasons I missed out as a boy.
     Many people are so preoccupied with their busy lives that they have little time or reason to consider the implications of the fact that Jesus really is alive - in every sense of the word. Somewhere in the back of their minds they've concluded, "What does it matter if the Easter story is really true? I've got bills to pay, a project to finish and a cell phone ringing. I'll deal with it later...maybe."
     Others have walked up to the "bus" and pulled back in fear. Thoughts about God, forgiveness, eternity, sin, salvation and our souls scare many people away. Somewhere in the backwaters of their thoughts they've decided, "This whole Jesus thing might be real - but I don't want to have to deal with it. I'm afraid He might had a different plan for my life than I do."
     What about you? Have you been so preoccupied you've neglected dealing with the world's only Savior? Have you been afraid to explore what a relationship with Him might look like? The "bus" is leaving. The "game" is incredible. Don't miss out."

It may not be Easter, but nevertheless Jesus did die for our sins and has risen and ascended into heaven, interceding for us, His children. That is the marvelous truth.

Jesus is calling out to you. If you receive Him as your Savior and Lord, He will change your life and you will have the hope of eternity in heaven with Him. If you are already my brother or sister in Christ, I hope you can let this be a reminder to you to let the Holy Spirit lead your life. Don't let fear hold you back from what He is calling you to do.

Incline my heart

I find it amazing how God always leads me to the perfect passage during my time with Him. I mentioned a few posts back that I read a section of Psalm 119 every day during my quiet time. Although I have read these verses a few times now in the past few months, about a week ago it truly hit home. It has been my sincere cry the past week:

"Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to dishonest gain. Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways. Establish Your word to Your servant, as that which produces reverence for You." Psalm 119:36-38

What's your favorite quote or Bible verse? Feel free to leave a comment to let me know you visited!

A Call to Persevere

I was encouraged by this passage from the Word yesterday during my break at work:

"Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful" Hebrews 10:19-23 NIV

That is truth.

Random

Well I haven't thought of much to blog on lately, but I figured it would be good to give a little update on what life is like right now. I am still getting over mono, but I have been able to go back to work this last week and am not too exhausted come bedtime. The biggest things are my tickled and still swollen throat and glands, the bags under my eyes, and being teased (of course!). Its not so bad though...I've been able to relax when not working and between the last two weekends, I had the privilege of attending 3 weddings! I love weddings and it was so amazing to witness these three christian couples make a covenant before God and all of us witnesses. Each bride and groom looked fantastic and each wedding was truly unique! I'll be honest in saying that I tucked away some ideas for when my own wedding takes place, but my favorite part was listening to the vows...you can just hear the love and sincerity so clearly when they're said. It's so beautiful!

(Sorry to you you men reading this...I'm going to continue with the girly theme for a moment)

On some of my free time, I've been working on reorganizing and cleaning my room. I love cleaning, throwing things out, and finding old treasures that I had forgotten about. The reasons I am doing this are 1. my sister is moving out in a few weeks to go to college so I get free rein with decorating and rearranging furniture and 2. since I've been home so much I figured it would be a good idea to downsize on some of my old, random stuff that I've kept for years. I've had so much fun! As of this moment, the only things left to do are file papers and have Leslie deal with her stuff :)

On a different note...I am looking for large cheap bookshelves that are in usable condition and are stand-alone. So, if you find yourself reading this and have such an item (they are for my daddy...he has a ton of books), please let me know! AND I would like to know who is reading this...so if you have a second, could you comment and just let me know you stopped by? No need to follow me if you don't want to, but I am curious. Thanks!

Roses and other things

Yesterday I turned in my last piece of documentation required for nursing school. Now I just have a few things to purchase (like white tennis shoes, a stethoscope, scrubs, lab coat, etc...how fun!!) and a class to register for in the middle of August. Besides that, I'm ready to go and will find out everything else I need to know at orientation in September! It's all coming together and I am now starting to get excited and nervous. I wish I knew what to expect once classes start...all I know is that it will be "hard." Well...I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

On a different note, I am still on the recovery road from mono and am doing so much better! My throat is still swollen and I have a slight fever (99.3ish) at night, but besides that I am well on my way to kicking this thing!! My energy continues to rise each day and my appetite is returning gradually. My hope is to be back at work and in the full swing of things by the 7th of August so I can go to my friend Stephanie's wedding! My plan is to also have my wisdom teeth out before then, but that might not happen. I'll keep you posted!

A few days ago when I was feeling especially low, Paul surprised me with a visit and brought me beautiful roses and a redbox movie.  I felt so special! Here are the roses:

Aren't they gorgeous?? I was completely thrilled. 

I must say...flowers make being sick so much more enjoyable!

i got baptized!

On the 4th of July, I got baptized at my church in Estacada. I love it that the 4th will now always have more significance to me! (sorry for the bad pic quality though)

sharing my testimony

My testimony

I was born into a Christian family and grew up going to church. When I was four years old, I remember learning about Jesus in Sunday School. One night I asked my older sister if she would pray with me to become a Christian so I could go to heaven and be with Jesus, and she said yes and so she helped me pray my first prayer as a Christian. After that, I continued to go to church, participate in Awana, VBS, and other Christian camps and such. When I was 10, my family was going through some difficult changes and I decided to rededicate my life to Christ. I felt that I had matured in my faith, now understanding more of the basics of the faith and wanted to again make the commitment to live my life for Christ even though life seemed more complicated. This time, I prayed in my room by myself. At the time, I thought that I had learned everything I needed to know to be an effective Christ follower, but over the years I discovered that I really only knew the basics about who Jesus was. 

I knew that he was the Son of God, that as a believer in him as my Savior and Lord I had a personal relationship with him and would be granted the promise of eternal life. However, that really is all I knew for sure. I had a vague understanding of the trinity: who Father God and the Holy Spirit were and how they fit into the redemption story and what their roles were, but not fully. I also didn’t know a lot about many other aspects of the Christian faith but always had a nagging feeling like I was missing something. Over the next few years I continued to grow in knowledge and my faith as I went to church, joined a small group of girls my age at my church, and studied and read the Bible on my own when I “had time” (which wasn’t often enough). Jesus was my Savior, but I was still very much afraid to proclaim him to others because I felt like my understanding was limited, although I didn’t know why at the time. Every few months, the Lord would open my eyes to a new concept or another aspect of his character and I began to feel more secure in my identity as a believer, but I still had many questions. 

And then I started college and soon after met the Carters and my eyes were again opened to more and I was able to understand more of why I believe what I believe. I began to better understand what my life is supposed to look like as a daughter of Christ in this modern world we live in where feminism is the popular and common way of looking at life. I saw the importance of memorizing verses, of meditating on the Word, of really studying it for myself and with others, and of finding a fellowship of believers who believed what I did. That was when I decided to step out of my box and come visit ECC. At first, I was a little uncomfortable, just because it was not like any church I had been a part of before, but I saw the dedication of all of you and how happy and genuine you seemed, and I was intrigued. 

Needless to say, this is where God wants me right now. I am by no means an expert in the Scriptures, nor have all of my questions been answered, but I have found my church home for the present, and am thrilled to today have you as witnesses as I am baptized. As a believer, I know that I have been baptized by the Holy Spirit, but I would like to be baptized by water in the presence of the church as I am now a member and because baptism is commanded in the Bible as an important step once you are a believer, as well as to symbolically show my place as a Christian into Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection, which I fully believe. I believe in my wretchedness as a human because of sin, that I am in need of a Savior, and that now as a Christ follower, it is my privilege and duty to spread the gospel to those around me, live a lifestyle of purity and holiness, use my spiritual gifts for the church, and continue to study the Bible, which is inspired by God and is the truth. 

If I had to say in one sentence what my life is now, I would say: God has chosen me and I am living in response to his call upon my life. I am excited for what the rest of my life will hold. I continue to struggle with not knowing what will take place or how I will be used, but I am continually encouraged by the Psalms, other books and studies, as well as the Book of Revelation because I know that no matter how desperate I feel things are getting, there are promises to cling to and a God who is awesome, with total control. As long as I stay in frequent prayer and studying, I find that I am less stressed and more content to simply live in the life that God has given me. Today, THIS is my next step. So here I am. I am ready to be baptized. Praise God for choosing me among the many to be one of his followers. I feel truly overwhelmed and blessed when I think on that. Praise God for his faithfulness, for his promises, for his mercy and grace. That is what the gospel is about, and that is what I cling to. So here we go. I am ready for the next chapter of my life. 

right before...

right after :)

Paul, Russell, and I at the potluck afterwards

Pslams

Today I just wanted to share some of my favorite Bible verses from Psalms. My hope is to one day put several in little frames and have them around my house as constant reminders of God's love, grace, and care for us, his children. Some of these are pleas and some are praises, but they are all about our great God, whom we are to live for.

"Deal bountifully with Your servant, that I may live and keep Your word. Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Your law." Psalm 119:17-18

"My soul languishes for Your salvation; I wait for Your word." Psalm 119:81

"Those who trust in the LORD are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but aides forever." Psalm 125:1

"I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope." Psalm 130:5
(this is probably my favorite right now)

"On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul." Psalm 138:3

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The LORD will accomplish what concerns me. Psalm 138:7-8a

Daily Strength

Over the last few weeks, I have decided to really dedicate myself to reading my Bible daily. The last year or so this has not been at the top of my priorities list, but it really should be, as a Christ follower. The Bible is the inspired Word of God and it is where we are taught, encouraged, and strengthened. Since I have been reading regularly, I am amazed at how much peace I have about my life and all of the decisions and choices that have to be made. I remember the the Lord provides, and that no matter how bad it may seem things are, there is an ultimate reason for them. I love the fact that all of the Bible points directly to Jesus, which is wonderful because he is our Savior and the one who connects us to God the Father. Sometimes I sit down with a block of time in the morning. Other times I read throughout the day during my breaks at work. Or sometimes if I haven't made time during the day (which I should!), I'll read and study at night before I go to bed. The most important thing if you are considering really studying the Bible for yourself is to make time for it in your schedule. Don't just wait and see if you can "fit it it," because most of the time it won't happen. And I find that when I make time, even if it means less sleep or more things to do, everything else diminishes in importance and everything ends up working out better than I thought it would have.

As much as I can every day I have been reading:

- one of the "Hebrew letters" of Psalm 119 (it is the longest Psalm and it is divided into sections, each
  one titled with one of the Hebrew letters of their alphabet)
- another Psalm
- the chapters in Proverbs, Acts, and Revelation that corresponds to the date of the month (for example,
  today is July 19, so I read Proverbs 19, Acts 19, and Revelation 19 this morning)
- 1 or 2 chapters in Genesis

I do not say this to gloat or bring attention to myself, but to encourage anyone who doesn't feel like they could ever really sit down and read the Bible and study it. It is possible! and it is incredibly rewarding. The method I am using right now where the chapter number is the same as the day's date helps me remember if I have read it or not. Once I have read through the books I am reading now, I may reread them to go deeper or simply continue on into other books. I just hope that once I am not doing the "number system" anymore that I will still make time for it! One of the reasons I chose to pick so many different chapters to read a day is because I love variety and it keeps things interesting and gives me a goal. If I were to only read one chapter a day, for whatever reason, it wouldn't seem as important to me and I wouldn't make time for it.

And for anyone who is interested, I use the MacArthur study Bible, and I think it is fantastic! I love all the comments on each verse. It helps me understand what I am reading so much better and includes references to verses that correlate to the passages I am reading. If you don't have one, I would encourage you to get one! They aren't that expensive and they are totally worth it. I also use the NASB version, which is the closest translation to the original languages the Bible was written in, but I believe ESV is also really good.

Praise God!

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes. 

The law of Your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieced" 

Pslam 119:71-72

I keep a prayer journal in which I pray every day before I open the Word of God. Today I found out I have mono and I wanted to share my prayer with you.

     Lord, You are in control! I am amazed at how often it seems I need reminders of Your being in control and now is no exception. Father, You have willed that I have mono and am unable to work for at least another week and a half. If I wasn't aware of Your plan for my life, I would be bitter and resentful. But praise Your Name that I feel content, even joyful that I have a span of time ahead of me where I can work to refocus my life on You and prepare my heart for this next year, which I know will be an adventure.

     God I pray Your protection on my body, that I wouldn't develop any complications or additional illnesses. Lord, heal my body in the time you desire. Until then, work on me while I have no distractions around me. Capture my heart again and reveal Yourself to me in new ways. I love you, Lord. My heart is overflowing with joy and I am amazed. Help me bless others even through this. You are my King! Thank you for choosing me. Your mercy is new every morning. Praise God!

male and female He created them...

This is a random post, but I just find it so fascinating how women and men interpret things differently! I went to a Love and Respect Seminar (I recommend it!) a few months ago with Paul at our youth group's church, and one of the most interesting themes the entire day was this concept of us hearing or experiencing something and men taking it totally different than a woman would. I was reminded of this just a few minutes ago and I just thought I would share because I found it funny.

I was talking to Paul online right after he had been playing a computer game with his little brother. I asked him, "how's the game?"and his reply was "bad." So I asked him what he meant, and he said "my team got crushed." This is when I remembered how we think differently, because what I meant was "did you have fun?"...who knows why I didn't just say that, but obviously I should have. But then again, I suppose losing isn't fun for a man (so maybe he really did answer my question, just not in the way I expected), whereas as long as I am with people, I have a good time (even if I lose). Whatever. We are different and that is something to be celebrated!

"male and female He created them" Genesis 1:27b

The past few days

I find that when I make time to write and I sit down ready to go, I decide to first read other people's blogs, which I love to do (I read about 16 regularly!)...but then I run out of time for my own writing. I just love hearing others' stories and sometimes I feel like what they have to share is more amusing or more important than anything I would say. But the life I have right now is the life I am called to lead -- I am learning to accept that.

So, my life has been a little interesting lately. This last weekend and week has had some surprises in it. I'm not sure what is going to happen next, but I am at a place where I will take whatever comes.

There have been several little things that have been stressing me out that really shouldn't, but among them is that fact that I need to turn in this packet of papers by August 2nd to ensure my place in the nursing program come fall. I am in the middle of working on them (I still have to take a CPR class and have documentation that I am certified...way last minute. oops!!), but it seems like so many other things are popping up, needing to be taken care of. On top of trying to keep up with things and work on projects which I have begun for the summer, over the weekend I got sick with some sort of virus. I was supposed to have my wisdom teeth out this morning, but when I went in, my oral surgeon said it wouldn't be a good idea until I am well. So ok...fine. Honestly, I was disappointed, but the wisdom of others has been increasingly important to me lately, so I decided to take his advice. I came home and took a nap and then ate a little bit (I was still feeling sort of crummy) and then went to the doctor. They decided to do a strep test (which came back negative) and they drew some blood to see if I have mono. I'll find out tomorrow or the day after if that is the case. But no matter what, the doctor's orders are to rest and drink lots of fluids, so it looks like its a good thing I got 3 days off of work...even though I won't be using them to recover from surgery, I guess I need them to recover from whatever I have. The good thing is that the GAP, where I work, is pretty flexible with requests, so I should be able to get time off again with no problem once I am doing better and can go ahead with getting my wisdom teeth out.

In addition, Paul's close friend's dad is in the hospital. At the moment he is stable, but they are still watching him closely and are not sure how things will turn out (prayer would be much appreciated).

On a different note, yesterday I went to my good friend Stephanie's bridal shower! We've known each other since high school and her wedding is in 19 days. She was all aglow and everyone had a wonderful time. It was very casual and took place in her future in-laws' backyard. The shower was in the evening so they had a salad bar for dinner and a chocolate fountain with wonderful things to dip into it. It was delicious! Everyone mingled for a while and then we played some low key games. My favorite was one where Stephanie was told that Andrew, her fiance, had been asked 25 questions about her. He of course, wasn't at the shower, but now she was going to be asked the same questions so she could answer for herself. The game was to guess how many we thought Andrew would get right out of the 25. So Steph was asked a question, she answered, and then Andrew's answer was shared. They were really fun to listen to! I guessed that he would get 19, but he only got 12 totally right! haha! But for a lot of the answers, Steph couldn't decide between two things, so the one she didn't say was the one he said. After that, she opened gobs of wonderful presents. This took about an hour or a little more, but I loved watching each item get unwrapped. Then the last thing they did was form a prayer circle around Steph and pray for her. I loved that! So fitting.

As for now, I am sitting on the couch, my kitty is sleeping at my feet, and I think I'm going to take a nap. I really don't like being limited, but if I get up, my stomach decides it needs to lurch to tell me its still there or something...silly. Oh well. Maybe I'll rent a redbox movie later or call a friend. We'll see.

The most important thing I am remembering is God is in control! What happens is in His will and nothing I do can change that. What happens down here on earth is no surprise to the God of the universe. That is my hope right now. I pray those of us who call Jesus our Savior never forget that!

Joy, Peace and Promises

Paul and I took a walk on his family's property today, which is a huge expanse of field and woods. It is a rare occasion that we get to do this (both because Paul doesn't like just walking as much as I do - he prefers to have a goal or be jogging - and because the weather has not allowed it until today!!) so I was really excited. As we walked I decided to pick a few of the wildflowers that grow in the fields and make a bouquet. I felt like a little girl again, just laughing and playing without a care in the world. It seemed so easy out there in the country to not think about all of the things on my "to do" list, about all the worries that usually circle my head throughout the day, about my family, the future, work, etc. I was totally able to relax and just live in joy and at peace, fully aware that I was in the midst of God's creation. It made me think of the Garden of Eden and how amazing it would be if life was still lived in a garden, where you would be free to walk around whenever you wanted and talk to God. One day we will get to do that if we have accepted Christ Jesus as our Savior and I can't look forward to that day enough! But for now, I will be content with the little moments I get in the beautiful creation that surrounds us all and live in joy, at peace with the life I have, and with anticipation for the promise of heaven. 

The Pilgrim's Progress

Lord willing, there are a lot of things I would like to do this summer. One of these is to read a novel or two. That may seem like a silly goal, but I used to read all the time, and over the last year or so have only felt like I had time to read textbooks or the Bible. I like reading. It calms me and gives me a place to escape to so that I can be a happier, more productive person in real life. So...the first book I have chosen to read is The Pilgrim's Progress. As of now, I am only about 25 pages in, but I love it! Its quite dialogue-based and written in older english, so its kind of fun. My favorite word so far that I have come across is "verily." Apparently it is an adverb which means "in truth," "really," or "indeed." Yes I know, I'm somewhat of a nerd sometimes, but I found it interesting and just thought I'd share.

Here is an excerpt that I like:

(background) Christian, the main character, is talking to his neighbors who are trying to persuade him to turn back from his journey. Christian is explaining why he wants to leave his home and he says:

"because that all which you shall forsake is not worthy to be compared with a little of that that I am seeking to enjoy; and if you will go along with me, and hold it, you shall fare as I myself; for there where I go is enough to spare....I seek an Inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away, and it is laid up in Heaven, and fast there, to be bestowed, at the time appointed, on them that diligently seek it. Read it so, if you will, in my Book."

I like it because, as a Christ follower, I should be more bold in my faith like Christian is. He had no fear of telling those around him why he was different or had other goals than them. He knew people thought he was crazy, but he also knew that there was something better to look forward to and that it would be better than anything he could ever imagine. I find that I don't look for opportunities to share my faith, but I know that if I opened my eyes, I would see multiple opportunities every day. There are so many people around me that I know don't know or aren't willing to accept the truth. I need to care more. I need to live my life in a way that makes people ask me why I'm different. This is another of my summer challenges: to try and be more outspoken and more bold in my faith. I know The Pilgrim's Progress is fiction, but because it is an allegory (i.e. parable) it has many good reminders in it for those of us who call Jesus our Lord and Savior. If you want to give it a try, I would encourage you to read it when you have a chance (there's also a kids version if the old english is a little hard to manage).

I'd like to know if anyone has suggestions for other books to read though, once I'm done with this one. Let me know if you have any and why you think I should read it :)

my first...

The last year and a half or so of my life, I have experienced a lot of change. I met the man of my dreams, I started going to a new church where I recently became a member, I made new friends, and as of a few days ago, I completed my Associate's degree. These are only some of the major things, but after thinking about it, I realized how little I have been recording (in some way or other) what has been going on in my life since I started college almost two years ago. It has always been a fantasy of mine to write down as much of my life down as I could so that my kids could one day know a little more about my life if they wanted.

You see, I wish my parents had done the same for me, because it seems that a person's memory gets worse as they age...people remember certain things, but not everything. Every once in a while, I'll ask my parents (or grandma) something about their past, and a lot of the time, they only remember a little bit. I am always left wanting to know more; wanting the full story. Maybe that's just my nature, I don't know. But what I do know is that if I continue this blog for just a few months or even a year, a little bit of my thoughts and experiences will have been written down. This is my main motivation in starting this blog.  Come fall, a new phase of my life will begin as I start nursing school. It seemed like the perfect time to begin writing since I will be starting a new chapter in my life.

I don't know what will necessarily constitute this blog. I don't know if it will be funny or witty or wise. I don't know who will read it. I don't know if it will be filled primarily with stories, thoughts, advice, or lessons I am learning. I don't know, but I hope to share with you whatever is put on my heart. I hope to make you smile or realize something about yourself. I hope to make you laugh perhaps. I hope to be vulnerable, bold, truthful, and sincere. I hope to never put anyone down or say something I will later regret. I pray that God will guide me as I write.

I am nervous. I don't like to do things where I feel that I am the center of attention. But this is something I have wanted to do for a while. So please forgive me as I learn how to do this. And please be honest! If I ask for input, please give it. I will not be hurt by it. I am primarily writing this for myself, but if you are reading this along with me, welcome to my journey! I am learning how to better invite people to be a part of my life. This is one way I feel called to do it right now.

As I said before, nursing school starts in the fall. So this summer is when I will be experimenting here and figuring out how to do this whole blogging thing. So here it is...my first post. Let's see what happens next!